Startling Beauty and Brokenness in Adoption

I would love to tell you that adoption is only ever beautiful, but that would be a lie. I would love to tell you that adoption is easy, but that would not be true. What you may not realize about adoption is that it is a two-sided coin. There is a bright side, full of beauty and wonder. But, there is also a dark side, that is broken and fallen.

My wife and I have adopted two children through a private adoption agency, and hope to adopt more. In both case, the birth mothers were able to choose our family for their little ones; they got to pick a new family for their babies.

On the adopting side, it is a game of hurry up and wait. It is extremely exciting when you get the call that your family has been selected. We were able to be at the hospital to receive our two adopted children. It was a very exciting and beautiful moment, holding this little baby for the first time, taking pictures, all of your other children waiting for time with the new baby… it is overwhelmingly beautiful.

Lift your eyes up for one moment and take a break from all the pictures and squeals of delight. Notice that there is a woman in the room who has just given birth to this little baby. A woman who’s heart is breaking as she hands over her precious little one. She watches another woman cuddle and kiss her baby. A nurse wheels her down to go home, just like the other mothers at the hospital, only, she is not holding her baby. She dreads the long, silent drive home. She dreads trying to fall to sleep tonight, still feeling the wounds of her labor, and worse yet, the wounds of her loss, her grief.

What went wrong? How could this happen? It isn’t supposed to to work like this!

Sing to God, sing praises to his name;
    lift up a song to him who rides through the deserts;
his name is the LORD;
    exult before him!
Father of the fatherless and protector of widows
    is God in his holy habitation.
Psalm 68:4-5 (ESV)

We serve a God who redeems! We serve a God who is the “father of the fatherless and protector of widows!” God is the source of all beauty in creation, and as such, He is also the source of beauty in adoption. God sees the single mother who cannot raise her child; the mother who chooses life for her baby, but cannot raise her. God sees her and provides a family for the baby. It is a beautiful thing when mothers choose life for their little baby, instead of death.

God is the source of all beauty in creation, and as such, He is also the source of beauty in adoption. Click To Tweet

God displays His redeeming beauty in giving children to families who are unable to bare children. A married couple are called Mommy and Daddy, and they give their lives to raising this little baby, a baby who was given the gift of life.

God displays His redeeming beauty when he gives a birth mother, still grieving the loss of her baby, a new family. Adoptive families have the opportunity to show this mom that she is loved and valued, not because she has earned it, but because she is a person made in the image of God. They share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with her both in words and deeds, with their very lives.

We reflect the beautiful character of our Creator when we adopt. Our Heavenly Father is a father who adopts us into His family (John 1:12, Romans 8:15), not because of anything that we have done or anything that is in us, but because of His grace and love for us (Ephesians 1:5, Romans 8:29-30).

God, the greatest storyteller of all, weaves our lives together in ways that startle us with the beautiful way He redeems the brokenness of this life for His glory, making all things new, and making everything sad untrue.