The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Aubrey and I are in the middle of our second adoption. We began the journey back in June of 2017 when our youngest turned one year old. We built a new profile, went to meetings, had our thumb prints scanned, and our backgrounds checked. As of the first of this year (2018) our home study has been complete and we now find ourselves in the “big wait”. In domestic, infant adoption this wait could be over today or it could last for another year. We really have no idea. We must be prepared to receive a baby at any minute, while being open to the possibility of waiting for months (or more) with no news. I have been asked if this go ’round is easier than the first time. Surprisingly, it has not been. As the song says, “the waiting is the hardest part.”

The real question is, how do we pass the time during this period?

1) Trust God

As Christians we believe that God is sovereign over all things. By that, we don’t just mean that He is the Big Guy in the clouds who is in charge and is trying to manipulate history in the “big” matters. We mean that:

“God, from all eternity, did, by the most wise and holy counsel of his own will, freely, and unchangeable ordain whatsoever comes to pass: yet so, as thereby neither is God the author of sin, nor is violence offered to the will of the creatures; nor is the liberty or contingency of second causes taken away, but rather established.”
Westminster Confession of Faith, Chapter Three

That’s quite a large sentence! The key phrase is “whatsoever comes to pass.” To sum up, it means that God orders all things. God knows which baby is ours and in what time we will be united with our new baby (because He ordained it).

God’s timing is always perfect. We know this to be true throughout our lives, but even more specifically with our first adoption. We must remember this and continue telling ourselves this.

2) Prepare

We have been and continue to prepare our hearts for a new little baby. However, we must also prepare pragmatically.

We just upgraded our mode of transportation by purchasing a new van. The old minivan was bursting at the seams and showing its age. The “new to us” van (2017) will be able to carry our expanding family for years to come.

We continue to engage in adoption training (mostly through reading), to prepare our minds for the task ahead. Adoption is a multi-faceted thing and though you cannot prepare for every outcome, education in this area is important for success.

3) Live

Yes, that’s right… we can’t stop living during the waiting. We are planning the graduation of our first child, including a graduation trip. I am attending a Bible Conference this coming week. The children are working feverishly towards the end of this school year. Aubrey is even now preparing for the next school year.

And the grass still has to be cut. It’s Florida after all.

4) Raise Funds

Adoption is expensive. Yes, I know this floors you. How could it be THAT expensive! Well, it is. We absolutely consider this to be an investment into the Kingdom of God, where moth and rust cannot destroy (see Matthew 6:19). There are human lives at stake.

So we continue to budget and save, to do fund raisers, and to ask for (your) help.

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Thanks for Your Prayers

Thank you for reading. Thank you for your prayers and your support. Thank you for all of the kind words of encouragement. Thank you for being a part of our lives.