Coed Baby Showers… Who Said We Wanted To Come!?

I have three children and we had three coed baby showers. I have friends with children. Yep. Coed baby showers. Guess what. We didn’t want to be there! We? It’s the men I’m referring to. I did some research on the topic and all of the guides and so called etiquette says pretty much the same thing. All written by women I’m sure (yeah, go ahead. Bring on the comments!)

Baby showers that have both men and women attending are growing popularity. Many expectant fathers, male friends, uncles, brothers and soon-to-be grandfathers welcome the chance to be invited to a baby shower. And why shouldn’t they be?

WHAT!? Are you serious? That’s a bunch of woman talk. I’m sorry to offend any of the ladies out there, but I’m a man and I have to represent my fellow man here. In fact this topic came up whilst having lunch with three of my male cohorts this past week and we all agreed… no, we don’t want to be invited to the stinking baby shower!

First, couples baby showers tend to be oriented more around family and friends, talking and catching up than around playing games and indulging in the silly traditions that women tend to do at showers.

Ok, that sounds good in theory, but guess what? It never happens. Never. Every single one that I’ve been to includes the silly traditions. Yes I have tasted the baby food to guess the flavor. I have been buzzed and giggled at because I said the word baby. OK, this is not Pee-Wee’s Playhouse.

Also, the food takes on a bigger role when men are present, so be sure to plan a good menu!

This was brought up in our conversation of particular interest to one of my close personal friends. His view point was an interesting one and that was of the host/hostess giving the baby shower. Now you would think giving a coed baby shower would exclude cucumber sandwiches and petit fours (leave it up to the French to come up with a spelling like that. It took me half an hour just to find it!). Obviously you would want to move towards more man friendly food. This however is usually not the case. Instead the petite lady foods are kept and man food is just added as an after thought. What is the problem you ask? Cost! That’s the problem. The host has to pay for the extra food.

When you organize the guest list, try to keep the number of men to women as even as possible. You don’t want the father to be the only man there!

There are two possible scenarios here.

  1. You are the father and you are the only man there. Be happy for your friends and gladly take one for the team. They’ll thank you later and will all buy you a beer… or even a six pack. That will surely make up for the time you did.
  2. All the men do show. Here’s your strategy. All of you make a beeline for the garage, backyard, den or game room to talk about football, cars, motorcycles, internet… whatever. The important thing here is to stay with the pack… there is safety in numbers. If you have to make a beer run then use the buddy system. You don’t want to be cornered in a room full of women gawking at baby stuff all by yourself. Trust me… you won’t survive.

You’ll also want to make sure that the couple opens their gifts together. Since opening the gifts tend to be the biggest event at baby showers, they should both be a part of it, not just the mother.

A-hem. A resounding… WRONG! This is baby stuff. We don’t care. All the baby clothes look the same to us. We do not want to look at baby diapers or baby wipes warmers. Baby bedding… no. Baby quilt… no. We really do not want to sit through an hour of oohs and aahs and giggles. And yes, it does take an hour, because someone has to record every stinking gift and who it came from because the thank you letters have to be sent out later. One more thing, ladies. If you want this precious moment recorded on video for years to come… tripod. It’s easy. You set it up, press record and walk away. Your husband does not have to stand there for an hour getting a shoulder cramp just to capture the whole thing.

Suggestions From The Men’s Corner

So, Jonathan, what would you suggest? Well, I’m glad you asked! If you really want to involve the men in your life with this happy event try this. Let them have their own separate gathering. That’s right. You have your baby shower thingy in whatever girly manner you see fit and do not involve the men except for the setup and destruction… I mean breakdown of any heavy items that need to be moved.

Then let the guys all go out to eat hot wings and watch a game at the local sports bar. Or maybe they could go together and charter a fishing boat for the day. Perhaps there’s an Ultimate Fighting Champion fight that they’d like to all watch on their buddies new widescreen hdtv. Heck, just leave it up to them. I’m sure they have a thousand and one ideas of things they’d rather do than go to a baby shower.

All quotes in this article came from BabyShowers: The Ultimate Planning Guide

So how did I do? Any comments from you ladies? The men? Didn’t like what I had to say? Please feel free to voice your comments below. I’d love to hear about it. Thanks for taking the time to stop by.

  • Jen

    I think Dave actually did enjoy our baby shower, but we all know why that is…

  • Yeah, there’s always the exception to the rule. Just remember… Easy Bake Oven. 🙂

  • Aubrey

    Well, I think that I have different feelings now about all three baby showers now that you have written this. I’m certainly sorry I put you through such a stinkin’ time. If I had it to do over again I’d surely do things differently. Thanks for openning my eyes.

  • DOH! I guess the wife really does read my blog. I’m in big trouble now. 😉

  • Tarah

    Men do nothing but whine at baby showers and so I am not sure why you would want them there anyway. Mine will be at home taking care of all our other children so I can sit and eat in peace.

  • ScottO

    This also includes anything that is “girlly”, sorry Dave. But the truth is if we all want to get togeather and cook out or hang out or what ever, as groups of families that is great. I am all for that. The problem is women seem to want to take any “girly” event, and make it in to a “co-ed” friendly event and invite everyone. Sorry that does not work. The next time we are watching the UFC on the big screen do not expect for us to invite the women, sorry Jen. I think it is great if some men what to go to baby showers, and that some women go to Fight night. But we all know who those people are, and they are the exception not the rule. So please don’t make us hurt your feelings by not showing up, or coming up with an excuse for not coming to some event that is not for everyone. I am all for giving my financial support, but frankly, it stops there, frankly nobody wants me there anyway, just my wonderful wife and kids, me not so much. THANKS JP…….

  • Dave

    This argument is great and all, but the real question is why is everyone calling my manhood into question. Yes I did like the easy bake oven when I was younger, but does that make me a girlie man. I think not, I was just smart enough to like something that would allow me to have cookies and cake often. Pretty smart if you ask me. As for showers, as long as there are cookies and beer there I am in.

  • Aubrey

    To enlighten the “men folk”…I think we are so excited about having the baby with you (the sperm donor and hopefully a loving husband and father) that we naturally think that you would like to see what so many people are going out of their way to give our love child and to experience it with us. (Wrong again!) You already miss out on the carrying of the child and never can fully understand the extent of what we experience and I know you don’t even want to know. It is such a priveledge to be the mother…the one who carries the precious jewel around for the first 9 months…I guess we should take from your posts that it isn’t to be expected and if we happen upon someone like Dave who would be willing to see the positive in the one and only event (or in Jonathan’s case 3 events) in his lifetime that we have a one in million guy. Most women don’t think that it’s too much to ask the husband to do…I guess I was wrong. Who knew it was such torture? Really, my eyes are openned to the thoughts of men. Tarah, I think you’re right…we need to take this time as a sort of last get away before the baby comes. When’s the next one? I need a break! 😉

  • Way to go Dave! Throwing off the curve for the rest of us.

  • BTW – In a future post I’ll be writing an article on how to generate more comments on your blog 😉

  • Some friends of the family pulled that “men and women” shower junk. “Tell Jon to come! It’s for guys, too!” You just don’t do that to a guy…

    Just because they have a football game on TV doesn’t mean it will hold the slightest bit of appeal. Now, a game of Texas hold ’em in the garage on the other hand…